Let’s Make A Sex Tape!

Reality TV these days is SUCH A BORE. I suppose when the genre first started, it was different because it didn’t feel as scripted. I guess now it has evolved – or devolved depending on your take of things – to a point where it is more scripted than the traditional stuff we see on TV.

So while at lunch recently I’m browsing the Daily News website and this tidbit show ups that makes me just shake my head more in sadness than anything else.


People are always interested in finding ways to prolong their 15 minutes of fame as much as possible.  So Farrah Abraham is a teen mom (got on the MTV shot Teen Moms at 16). So I guess since her 15 minutes of fame were up she decided to do what any serious, aspiring celebrity would do – make a sex tape. The story goes she enlists a porn star as her supporting actor and it didn’t really work out like she hoped. So of course she does what anyone grabbing the spotlight – diss him this way to put the hype machine into overdrive:

“His penis is small,” Farrah said. “I haven’t seen many but his was definitely not big.”

I mean, I almost spewed Coke at my PC screen when reading this. What were worse were her responses during her interview on Dr. Phil when he lit her up and call her on her behaviors. He parents too didn’t help matters during the Dr. Phil segment, with dad thinking that she was Playboy mag worth material.

Far be it for me to pass judgement here, but this is a typical example of one of the unhealthy elements of sexuality in contemporary society. Porn and erotica have been a part of human culture since…well, the first man learn how to draw pictures. But what has become really sad is how there is a market for this sort of exploitation and that certain people (in this case, Farrah’s dad) appear to be more condoning of some of the messages sent to both young men and women.

Nothing stands out to me more in this case than Jane Elloitt’s thoughts during her “Blue Eyes Experiment Remake” where she states this perspective bluntly to an attractive participant who is having a breakdown (in her eyes) but a breakthrough (to us watching the video):

“Don’t get cute; get competent. You will only have your looks for a certain time, and then they will be chasing after the next cutest thing who is younger than you. – what will you do then?” (not an exact quote here)

You can argue that what Farrah is doing is to milk her physical good looks or reality TV celeb status for as long as possible. The problem is Hollywood is filled with many disposable things – attractive people, in particular women, being one of them. Some have said that she was trying to go the Kim Kardashian route; while people may not like Kim, she is good at manipulating her image and turning it into dollars. Clearly, Farrah may not have gotten to that part of the book she is studying from yet, or even have the right mix of talent and opportunity to exploit he physical gifts.

Still the people who may lose the most in moves like this are Farrah, her family and those who get to see that sex tape. The internet is no joke and what gets uploaded never really gets erased. So her child may have o deal with the fact that mom was on Teen Mom and made a sex tape…extra embarrassing if it does let leaked. Farrah herself will have to try to undo the label of making a sex tape and being solely a teen reality star. Again, in a disposable Hollywood searching for the next “it thing” some people get 5 minutes of fame instead of 15.

Finally the biggest losers are those who either consume pornography or have to deal with partners exposed to it. Now there isn’t anything wrong with watching porn when handled correctly. If you understand what you’re using it for and that by and large it is f-a-k-e, then it doesn’t necessarily distort your image of relationships readily. Where it becomes problematic is that there are certain types of porn that accentuate possession, objectification or partners, stereotyping body images, violence and coercion. For some of our brothers and sisters who have difficulties in the real world to form and maintain healthy relationships, consuming stuff like this may have them act out what they see on-screen in real life – much to some partner’s displeasure.

So to make the tape or not? Hey, that’s up to you. Be in touch with what your intent is and who your with and make the appropriate decision. As Jane Elliott so cleared said:

Don’t get cute – get competent.

Words to live by when addressing any type of issue, or handling any decision-making process.



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